Scripting: How I Left a Narcissistic Relationship and Manifested My Husband

A little over two years ago, I was in a bad relationship--a relationship I'd been in for nearly five years.

It was bad, and I was struggling to get out of it. In fact, I'd been trying for a year, and my god, it was rough.

This wasn't the run-of-the-mill toxic relationship. It was emotionally abusive. 

I was down and out, short on luck, and my mind was a mess. I also couldn't hold a job, due to my mental state, so my money was funny. 

My ex saw me as a burden, called me a bum for my lack of finances, and he constantly threatened to kick me out of his home. 

Why does this matter? Why didn't I just move out or move in with family?

1. I was broke.

2. My mom died when I was 13.

3. My dad--whom I had met after my mom's funeral--was emotionally abusive and financially unstable.

4. My grandma--My dad's mom, who had raised me after my mom died--had died three years earlier.

So, did I have a viable place to stay to get my life together? Absolutely not. But I did have a best friend...until I didn't.

My best friend, a guy I'd known in college for a semester, dated for two months a decade ago, and reconnected as friends during this toxic relationship, did not want to be involved with the mess anymore. The toxicity was affecting him, so it was only right for him to put some distance between his peace and my chaos.

I didn't go after him immediately because I foolishly wanted to show my ex I was loyal to him--despite him never showing loyalty to me.

I missed my friend.

Life was a little empty without him, a little less sparkly, less joyful. I'd done enough self-work to not collapse; I'd found my way as an individual in the midst of abuse, and learned to love my alone time--but I really missed him.

After my ex broke up with me for the umpteenth time over money, I missed my friend even more.

I thought, "This moment wouldn't be so destabilizing if I had my best friend."

But what was this feeling?

Did I...like him?

Pause.

Nah.

We'd already dated and gone through that phase. We were just friends.

But...what if?

Nah.

I had to focus. I had to get out of this mess with or without my best friend.

A year earlier, I'd had a dream about a woman passing through a portal in an auditorium full of students of various ages. It was so important, I'd turned it into a sci-fi story about a woman's mission to get out of her ex's home and find her way to love and prosperity. I found the manuscript on my laptop, and I went back to work. It felt good, helping this woman get out of her situation and watching her find a man who loved her.

If I could make it happen for a fictional character, couldn't I make it happen for myself?
I grabbed my paper, pen, and pencil, lit one of my white candles, and wrote in detail the type of husband I wanted, and how many kids I wanted with my husband. I scripted religiously, and once I was finished writing, I'd fold the paper up, spray it with my favorite perfume, and set it on fire, and watch the paper burn down to ashes.

I meditated as much as I could every day, and I had so much alone time to myself, it became a habit I looked forward to.

During meditation, images of my friend began to pop up. I let it happen, and eventually I admitted to myself the truth: I was in love with my best friend.

It had happened all on its own. I hadn't been looking to fall in love again. It had just snuck up on me, but if I had a chance of cementing it this time around, I would.

My best friend and I connected again, but my lingering attachment to my ex was still a no for him. I hadn't revealed to him how I felt or anything, but I was close to it.

It was ok. I didn't need to rush this. The next time we connected, it would be a done deal.

So, we were back to square one. My best friend was gone again, and I had to get away from my ex.

I continued to write my book.

I continued to script. 

The difference now is that I had a clear picture of who my husband was: my best friend, so when I visualized my husband, I now saw my best friend.

I didn't chase either. I was completely peaceful about our separation, and I waited for the moment to jump in.

Then a string of events propelled me into completely disengaging from my ex and solidifying my resolve to take a chance with my best friend. 

The string of events is a story I won't even get into here--it's a crazy story I'll probably reveal in a book to help women overcome narcissistic abuse, triangulation, and gaslighting. 

I had the mental nudge, the space was clear, and it was now or never. I was nervous, but I reached out to my best friend. Would he even pick up the phone? What if he had me blocked or something?

It didn't matter. I had covered all planes of existence in my pursuit of this man.

I'd done the work: 

The scripting. The meditating. The visualization. The confidence. The act of following through by calling him.

On July 11th, 2023, my soon-to-be husband picked up the phone on the second ring. I didn't waste any time. I immediately told him, "I miss my friend," and we met up the next day.

On January 11th, 2025, he proposed to me.

On February 28th, 2025, we got married at the courthouse.

It all started with a script.