I...do?

I had a tiny disagreement with my husband this morning before we went grocery shopping together.

I wouldn't call it a fight, because I've had full-blown outbursts in past toxic relationships.

This was more of a "You really irked me, and I'm not backing down on this."

And in turn, he gave me the same energy, "You irked me, because you're irked, and I'm not backing down on this." He's my soul-twin, for sure.

Well, in the midst of being irked, I recognized a valuable moment. I could let him grocery shop by himself--as he'd angrily requested, because I'd riled him up, or...I could hold my anger while not wallowing in it.

I weighed my options. I could be extremely mad, even though the issue was actually a non-issue. But I could take it further, and become so mad and tell him I'd grocery shop by myself tomorrow...but that didn't make sense...why would I do something so foolish? I'd grocery shopped by myself at least four times, and it was ridiculous how much effort it took to find the groceries, place them in the car, carry them up the stairs, and STILL sort them out!

Option b...I could be angry and still be helpful. I didn't have to rage. I didn't have to be sassy. I could just be...

So, I went with option b...still mad, yet focused as I created a note in my phone for groceries. By the time we made it to the grocery store, the list was as complete as I could think (at the time), and to make it easier for him (while also giving him the space to be irked with me and not speak), I shared the list with him.

Funny, right? We were mad, yet still had each other's backs. I couldn't let him grocery shop alone, knowing what I knew now, and I also wasn't up for doing it myself.

We still avoided each other for the first ten minutes; he pushed the basket, and I zoomed through the grocery store, picking things up here and there and checking them off the list as he did the same. After ten minutes, we had cooled down enough to acknowledge each other when he asked me, "Where's the garlic?"

I wanted to hold on to my anger just a bit longer, lol, so I told him  I would get it--very stonily--and I picked out three unmarred bulbs of garlic. After twenty minutes, I admitted defeat and welcomed him as a comrade, and he did the same for me.

See, my husband is also my best friend. We were friends for years before we ever considered each other as suitable mates, and it's that friendship that holds us together when we're mad at each other--he, sullen, and I, a raging pit of fire. 

Although there were residual moments of our spat, I didn't treat him as the enemy. There was one point where he was afraid to move past a slow-moving mother and son--I instantly noticed the hesitation, and pushed a basket out of his way to make room for him to pass without having to wait for the mother and son. There was yet another where, again, a mother and son idled in front of a frozen aisle section--again, sensing his discomfort, I politely reached over and grabbed the bags for him myself.

He's my best friend...not even a moment of irritation can mar that.

"I do"...even when I'm mad at him, lol.