I Did a Thing

But I’m consistently doing “a thing.”

My hands are always in multiple pots.

I’m a tarot reader, a content creator, a writer, a DIY-er, and more.

But only a few people knew of those things until recently, as recently as three months ago.

Why?

I was afraid of being seen.

I have a desire to be successful, to be known for my sci-fi fantasy writing, coffee recipes, inspiring candles, and metaphysical content…but that fear of being seen was on. my. tail.

So, my fear of being seen was sending out a major broadcast signal to direct all success away from me.

The mis-alignment…the desire to share this thing and yet not share this thing and yet still receive the accolades for the things I hadn’t shared—Steph, get real.

So, I did a thing. I posted my writing. I shared my tarot content. I stumbled through my coffee DIYs…and nothing.

Only, it actually was something. It was the buildup, the uptake in momentum to propel me to the next step. Show more. Be more. Be confident.

And then…I did it, my biggest feat yet…I created a scripting PDF, and I posted it as a paid-for product.

Yes, I did.

But, not before agonizing over it.

“Will they think it’s worth this price?”

“Shouldn’t it be free?”

“I should make it cheaper.”

“Does it have enough content?”

My beliefs were being challenged.

Did I want to stay in the “I’m unworthy” frequency, or did I want to cha-cha slide over to the “I am worthy and deserving” frequency?

How could I even think to sell a product I was iffy about?

Exactly.

Still, I had a few obstacles: I had to take the product down to make edits. After I’d spent hours making the edits, I discovered I couldn’t upload it.

I was being tested.

I had the opportunity to punk out, take the product down, and delete the posts advertising it. It could be so easy, and so simple.

But where had any of that gotten me in the past? A false safety that had actually harmed me.

Fear of being seen.

Fear of ridicule.

Fear of judgment.

Fear of failure.

I’d already experienced these things. I’d learned those lessons.

I could choose the opposite this time.

It’s ok for people to see me.

It’s ok for me to be myself.

It’s ok for me to know how powerful my words are.

It’s ok for me to share my lessons and my stories.

It’s ok for me to see worth in myself, because I am worthy.

With that in mind, I did a thing—where people could see it.